How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated

Dear Friend, 

I think that the most painful breakup is one with someone that you never even dated. I know this seems like it wouldn’t hurt, but for some reason, it does. A lot. So how do you even begin to get over it?  

To be honest with you, I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I mean, they were never even yours to begin with, so how are you supposed to feel when they leave? Are you supposed to feel sad? Angry? Hurt? Confused? There isn’t a correct answer. You’re allowed to feel all of these things. What I’ve found to help the most in these situations is a simple list. 

  1. Cry on your best friend’s shoulder. I promise it will help. Let them rub your back and kiss your shoulder.  
  1. Listen to sad music those first few days. But after that, stay away from those sad playlists.  
  1. Eat your feelings. Eat as much as you want. 
  1. Write about it. I don’t care if you don’t think you’re a writer. Write it out. It’ll help you vent without a filter. Nobody ever has to read it.  
  1. Breathe. Everyone always says this, but it helps.  
  1. Don’t let yourself become numb. Allow yourself to feel. It’s okay if it’s anger or if it’s sadness. Anything is better than nothing, I promise.  
  1. Talk to someone you trust about it. Don’t hold back either. Tell them everything. 
  1. Find an abandoned or empty area and scream as loud and for as long as you can. I do it in my car when I’m on an empty road. 
  1. Ride with the windows down. Stick your hand out of the window.  

It’s going to suck for a while. Some days are better than others. You’re going to have awful days, but you’re also going to have exhilarating days. Remember the good moments when you’re having a bad moment.  

This day shall pass. The sun will rise, and we will try again. 

Love, 

A Friend 

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